Lord my plea, more of You and less of me

Humility. How The Lord uses it to bring about such a sanctifying and sweet surrendering process to His children. Lately, He's been speaking this word to me. Teaching me, and through Jesus's example, showing me. But I fail so often, I'm discovering most of my arguments, my disagreements with people, they're brought on when I allow myself to get consumed with myself. I think that makes sense, I hope it does, it's one of those things that sounds good in your head and I'm starting to trail off here. Let's just say when I'm more concerned about the affairs of steph, I become defensive and unpleasant to be around. Yeah basically I can be a brat.
But grace, grace comes in in and works on our hearts, molding the me me me, into the You You You. The Lord has begun a time of preparation for my little family, a season of preparation for an upcoming mission The Lord has asked us to be a part of. Already He has been more than faithful to reveal our weak areas, and show His strength to sustain us. Humility can be an unpleasant word, it doesn't fit in with this fallen world. But so often in scripture we are told how blessed are the humble in spirit, that The Lord sustains them, forgives them, and delights in them. Let us all be strong enough to kneel and bow before the most humble of Kings.

(On a side note I wrote this post on my phone, so if my phone has once again decided to copy and paste a text to this post I apologize, my iPhone has no humility)

My phone misbehaved

I should not blog on my phone. Why? Because my phone will randomly copy and paste a text about my son's atrocious bug bite right in the middle of my post! Sorry bout that y'all! Thankfully we got that all taken care of!

A Rock and Instagram

So I've been off Instagram now for over a month, over a month people!  Let's say The Lord had to do a lot of convicting and working in my heart to cast out and "amputate" if you will  some things (social media) I'd let get  too strong of a hold on my heart. But  in the past month the Lord's taught me to rely and trust in His genuine design for my life. That people can say and be and do anything they can imagine on social media, and it can not be true in real life. So I shouldn't get sooo entangled in that. There are many honest and inspiring. People out there, each unique, each created in His image. I've  missed seeing little snippets of that. The Lord has said "you're ready" I'd just like as much faith in  that as He has. No more comparing, no more anxiety over how many likes I have on a picture or whaDoc said most likely a bug bite or zit that got infected so giving him an antibiotic. Says could be chicken pox but highly unlikely t that person thinks of me . Time to  put my big girl pants on and grow. No more being stuck between a rock and Instagram, time to treacherous out, time to trust. 

Inspire Us

Fall is here!

Even though it is still a little warm (it is Georgia after all) it is October which means it is fall time! I love this season for so many reasons. A main reason is because this season is my husband's jams right here. He always gets in a real holidayish festivey mood ( I just created some new words voila!) and if it was socially acceptable I think he would run out in the backyard each morning and dance in the fallen leaves. Seriously.

Honestly I wish I was more computer and camera savvy so I could upload some pretty adorable pics of my posse at the pumpkin patch, but alas I am still learning how to use our new laptop so as soon as my brain starts working again I will upload some! Plus I also have a beautiful photographer friend who will be taking some family pics next month and she always makes us look good, seriously there are never any pictures she takes which I dont like, she is that good! So I will upload some of them as well!

I have got a lot of things planned for this little space of mine! Hopefully a personally designed space and many diy projects coming soon!

I have been so inspired lately of the uniqueness of each individual. The Lord really is the ultimate designer, He created each of us with a different set of skills, likes and dislikes, and style. And I have been so inspired by all of this lately and embracing my own style and appreciating my Maker. So like I said, pics, tutorials, and more coming your way! Now I am off to down my second cup o joe! Adios! 

Love Story: Year One....Newlyweds

"I am 23 and I have been married for close to six years." 

I feel like I get the same shocked expression from each stranger that comes up to me and asks my husband and I how old we are and how long we have been married. 

That is probably so weird and random but let me explain by stating my husband is a good foot taller than I am. Ok I gave myself some credit, he is a foot and some change. We also have been asked if we are siblings before.

So long story short we get asked a lot of questions when we are out in public together and being affectionate because Justin kind of looks like my older brother and I look like his 12 year old sister.  So I think when people see us holding hands and occasionally smooching, they feel a sense of duty to make sure nothing "sketchy" is going on. My poor hubs, he has gotten quite the few nasty stare downs from people ( especially when I have a big swollen pregnant belly!)

I may make a DIY shirt that reads 

"I AM NOT HIS SISTER"

Anywho, Justin and I got married at 17, saying it out loud doesnt shock me as much as it used to but then I think of one of my kids getting married at that age and I faint a little. Funny story, we had to have our parents sign for us to get married. A permission slip if you will. A lot of our friends get a good kick out of that little sidenote. I hope our children do too  (inset their mortified faces sixteen years from now.)

So newlyweds, so newlyweds with a toddler. Boy oh boy. Let me just say glory to Jesus for redeeming a marriage that started off on a rocky path, although it felt like we started off in a volcanoe. Marriage is a sanctifying process, it takes a lot of grace for the Lord to convict us of our selfishness and teach us to serve others, and parenting and marriage are the strongest tools He uses for that. 

A lot of people will tell you that their first year as newlyweds was awesome and wonderful and a bit like a dream come true. Ours sadly was not, but we did not know Jesus then, so I am grateful He kept us together until we were saved. 

But the first year was hard, we were teenagers, we had a one year old, and a few months after us getting married, my mom left my dad and sister. 

I wont go into a lot of detail about that on here, but let's just say walking in on your mom packing up her things to leave, waiting for you dad and sister to get back from vacation to find my mom had left, witnessing my father weeping as if his heart had been ripped out of him, and watching my family fall apart did something to me, and it wasnt pretty. I became depressed and bitter. I became overprotective of my daughter, and bitter towards Justin. I guess in my mind I was protecting Maddie and I against the idea that Justin would just up and leave us as well. I was protecting us from something that hadnt even happened. 

Year one was hard, full of fighting and words I still wish I could take back and never have said to my man, but the last two years, they have been full of treausred moments, witnessing Jesus redeem our marriage, I honestly say I love Justin more each year that goes by. Thank God for His perfect timing in our lives. We look back on our first few years of marriage and feel regret, but we look ahead to our future and see hope, and His name is Jesus. 

Smackdown! Master Disaster is 2!

Toddler boys.

I think they deserve their own sentence. I think that sentence explains a lot.

I love my sweet boy Jax dont get me wrong, but homie has decided to become a mini WWE fighter and it is NOT cool. 

I feel in the past week he and most of the boys his same age have decided to practice some fighting skills. These sills include biting, pinching, sitting upon, smacking, trowing sticks, hair pulling, and the ever popular "yank my friend off of a stool to the hard floor" trick. These guys are really putting the smackdown on each other. No worries all good and consistent discipline is dished out in response to these fighting matches. At times I feel like Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible with this whole teaching a toddler about gentleness and patience, but I do have the Jesus on my side so I know theres victory! Some days I require a little more of that patience for myself.

My new motto is "Jesus take the wheel! Take it from my hands!"

It is like all of a sudden now that the age of 2 is upon us, Master Disaster has arrived.

Master Disaster, this is what I would call my son for his stage wrestling name.

So Master Disaster is turning two, two! My sweet boy I can hardly believe it. Jax was our healing baby. I say healing because the Lord gave us Jaxon at a time when our hearts were crushed from two miscarriages. Then a few weeks after we lost our second babe, we found out we were pregnant. And from that moment on I have never stopped thanking God for the healing He brought to my heart with giving me Jax. 

So Master Disaster is 2, and you know what one of his presents will be? Potty training. Yes, happy birthday, dont you wish I was your mother?

 Let's face it I have two kiddos in diapers and diapers just aint cheap. I have a six year old girl who has been successfully potty trained, I figure my odds are pretty good with this little guy. It is worth a shot anyway, already prepared my potty training arsenal with Cars undies, plastic covers and M&Ms.

 I know I will have accidents to clean, there may be tears (mostly on my end), but I'm guessing it's gonna be cheaper to clean a few messes than buy $100 worth of diapers each month. 

And the Johnson's wallets said amen! 

Coming to Terms

This morning I am coming to terms. Coming to terms with grief pented up in my heart. Coming to terms with bitterness and expelling it out of my heart.

Coming to terms that this world is FALLEN.

This is NOT how God wanted things to be. It IS because of OUR sin.  

Does this world not make heaven even more desirable? Does this world not put that urge to share the gospel with those who are lost and think this world is it? 

Jesus assures us that He has overcome this world. And as His followers, as those who have the Holy Spirit indewelling them, in Him we have overcome as well.

Praising God that we have hope, we have heaven as an eternal promise and inheritance. Every tear, every single one, those shed in beds at night and those shed during times of intense grief and suffering, every single one will be wiped away. 

Come swiftly Lord Jesus.