Christina: God's powerful and healing love for us

So excited to be sharing this next testimony with yall! My dear friend Christina is an awesome mommy and wife, and daily inspires me.We became friends a couple of years ago, and kind of clicked immediately. "Soul sisters" is what we sometimes jokingly call ourselves. We have seen each other through some pretty rough times, and through some pretty joyful times as well! I was so honored and blessed to have her by my side during the birth of my son, Asher! This girl and her sweet family mean so much to my family and I. They are gracious, humble and gentle. Even through her writing you can see her sweet nature and kind heart! She is one of the bravest, strongest woman I have ever known! Be blessed!

I am so honored to have my dear friend, Stephanie, ask me to share my testimony.  Honestly, as I sit here about to write, I have a sense of being overwhelmed. I hope as you read this, you are encouraged. Well here it goes...

By God's grace, I was born into a home and family that was centered around Christ. I grew up knowing all about Jesus and His sacrifice for my sins. At the age of nine, the Holy Spirit opened my eyes to the vastness of my sins, my separation from my Savior, and my ultimate need for Jesus! Through blurry,  tear-filled eyes, I walked down stairs to share all of this with my mom and dad. They were overjoyed!! They had been praying from the time they knew I was on my way that this day would come. We all cried and hugged. It is a moment I will never forget! The moment I knew Jesus to be mine. My Savior.

Everything was wonderful after that... HAHA... I mean as wonderful as 4th grade could be! Over the next year, I could not get enough of the Bible. Every word seemed new, now looking at it with a new enlightened understanding!

But as every Christian knows, it isn't all rainbows and sunshine once you accept the Lord as your personal Lord and Savior. My world was rocked as a 10 year old girl. I was molested by my soccer coach during a sleepover. I was not the only one he had taken advantage of that night. The other little girl, was much braver than I and went home and told her parents. My parents received a phone call and asked me if I had been. So ashamed by this dirty feeling the whole experience has left me with, I lied. I was convinced if I could convince someone else, it hadn't happened to me, then I could potentially convince myself as well. The next 8 years there was a war that raged on inside of me that I fought to keep silent. No one saw what I struggled with. I flat doubted God's love for me... Was He real? Did He care? How could He let this man take advantage of His beloved daughter? Maybe He loved me, but was powerless to do anything? Is that a God I could possibly live for?? Could I really trust Him???? These are the thoughts and questions I struggled with daily. During this season, I played the role (as best I could), as a typical good Christian girl. My life was a roller coaster. I tried to be good on my own, of course that did not work out, so I rebelled. And this went on for way too long...

As a freshman in college, I took full advantage of my freedom. In fact, by the end of the first semester, I was on academic probation and athletic probation, I was in the process of completing 45 hours of community service as a form of punishment, and was almost completely kicked out of school. This was my final breaking point. I had nothing left to hold onto... I had to reach out to my Savior... the one I had trusted so long ago. I had made a royal mess of my life trying to do things on my own. The Lord, in evidence of His perfect and sweet timing, was telling me my time of rebellion was up. He had a plan for my life and I needed to get on board. See, He had my husband right in front of me, and well, I was about to mess everything up! We were already friends. He was so dreamy and I pretty much loved him already. He saw me that first semester and saw my immaturity (wise man!). As the Lord healed me and brought me back to Himself, the Lord graciously began to work in Jonathan's heart as well. He began to pursue me in the most perfect way! 18 months later we were married! God is GOOD!

Looking back I can see Jesus in every step. He fought for me. He never let me go... always calling me to Himself. He never gave up on His lost sheep. His faithfulness to fight on my behalf and bring me back to Himself, to this day brings me to my knees in praise to Him! He protected me. The Lord began to heal me . He brought people into my life to encourage me and see past my fake facade I had so convincingly mastered. The Lord, so sweet with His timing, brought me time and time again, in my moments of brokenness, to the story of the lost sheep.  During one of these times I was reading a commentary that talked about how shepherds would go and leave their flock to find that one lost sheep. When they  found their lost sheep, they would break its legs. This first seemed so cruel to me, but as I continued reading, I discovered how they would do this only to then carry them during their entire healing process. This was such a clear picture of my journey with my Shepherd. He had found me, and He had to break me, only to carry me to my point of healing. He never stopped pursuing me. He was fierce in His determination to love me in spite of myself. He did not stop once He broke me. He carried me. He carried me through it all. He never left me.

Now things are still not all rainbows and sunshine. I may never understand His will and His way that would allow me, as a 10 year old little girl, to go through such a paralyzing experience, but I know who my Jesus is. I know I can trust Him and His will for my life. He has healed me, redeemed me. He has never forsaken me. What satan meant for destruction in my life, God used to pull me to Himself in a way I would never have understood outside of my experience. In fact, He has blessed me. Flat blessed me. More than I could possibly have dreamed! I am married to the most thoughtful, strong, servant-hearted man. We have 2 beautiful baby boys. I am blessed beyond measure.